Shut the door and close your eyes.
Listen to them shout their lies.
Cover yourself and hold on tight
For you might not survive tonight.
Daddy slurs and mommy screams
Bringing back those unpleasant dreams.
I hear the bang across the hall
As he throws her up against the wall.
Mommy cries and begs
As I hold myself by the legs.
Another thump, another crash
As he hits and calls her trash.
He won’t stop, it’s getting bad.
Should I run and tell on dad?
Another bang, another cry.
Oh please don’t let my mommy die.
They’re still yelling, I hold my head.
Sudden silence, is mommy dead?
Their door opens, I loudly gasp.
“Honey where are you?” I hear him rasp.
I hear his footfalls, I quickly hide.
I don’t want to be like his mangled bride.
I peak through the closet door
To see him staring down at the floor.
I see a gun in his hand.
“Where are you hiding?” He demands.
I don’t answer and he sighs.
“Fine.” He says, “Then this is goodbye.”
I close my eyes and hear a bang,
He falls to the floor with a very loud “clang.”
I scream and run as fast as I can
Back to the place where this all began.
I see mommy dead on the floor,
I scream and gag and hold onto the door.
I have to get far away
For it is not safe if I stay.
Quickly down the stairwell I leave
Wiping the teardrops on my sleeve.
Out the door and down the block.
To the neighbors house I loudly knock.
My heart is racing,
My legs quake.
I feel so sick,
My body aches.
A woman within comes outside.
“What’s wrong dearest?” she softly pries.
I quickly drop down to the ground
And with my fists I begin to pound.
“It’s not fair!” I sniff and cry.
“Why did mommy have to die?”
The woman’s eyes quickly widen.
“I think it’s best you come inside, then.”
She calls the police, they show up soon.
As I am sat in the woman’s living room.
A policeman sits in the opposite chair
And looks down on me with a sympathetic stare.
That’s when I lose it and explain what I saw,
Before he has the chance to say anything at all.
After I am done, I am taken away.
To somebody else’s care I am to stay.
There is no funeral, no ceremony of loss.
I am just stuck in this never ending chaos.
I grow up in a home I’ve never known
To wallow in this sadness, utterly alone.
Oh mommy I miss you so very much.
I miss your voice, I yearn for your touch.
I love you so much, I never got to say..
But how could I know you’d ever go away?
I visit you where you were laid to rest.
I cannot help but feel depressed.
I selfishly wish you were here,
But I know you will not just appear.
So I will be content with just talking
To the tombstone that is mocking.
There are some thing we cannot control.
But still that thought does not console.
As the darkness consumes the light,
And slowly day turns into night.
But even then…
I can hear your lullaby.